Have You Lost Yourself?
Have You Lost Yourself?
I thought I’d share with you something I wrote in my journal earlier this summer. I pray it encourages and inspires those who need to hear it. It’s time to embrace your lost inner-self.
“It feels good to be lost in the right direction.”
Inscribed in a metallic brush font on the front of my sea-blue journal, these are the words that greet me every morning.
The journal was a birthday gift from a friend last year. I’ve always thought the phrase was cute and catchy, but this morning, the little quote caught my attention in a very different way. This morning, the words spoke to me.
Despite the way it may appear, in so many ways, I am lost on my journey.
My journey as a writer, speaker, and artist has been, and I believe always will be, very much spirit lead.
I like to think of myself as an artistic soul floating along the currents of the creative winds.
But unfortunately, numerous, even countless times, I have rebelled against my inner creative self.
For years, I strived for order and normalcy in my life. I tried to take this shapeless, ambiguous human that I am and shove her into a mold in which she will never fit.
The world told me to conform. So I conformed. The world said, “This is the way, walk in it.” So I did.
For a time, my inner-self appeased. For a while, she yielded. For a period, she was quiet. But no more.
The person I was created to be, my inner being, will be silent no longer. I’ve heard her crying out to me at night. During the day, she wrestles with me. She shouts in my ears saying, “Set me free!” And so I have.
The pieces of my flesh that have tried to conform and suffice and fit-in have been put to death. I have crucified my flesh. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
As it turns out, all along, that unique longing has been the creative expression of God’s image locked inside me. That person is not just my inner-self but His inner-self. It is the oneness of my spirit mingled with God’s.
It is beautiful. It is unique. It is creative and artistic and unlike any other, and I dare not hide that person any longer. For if I do, I deny the world of seeing a unique expression of God’s image that only I can reflect.
Do I know exactly how to do it or what it will look like? No. Absolutely not. But that’s what makes it fun. That’s what makes it an adventure. And you know what? For the first time in a long time, it feels good to be lost in the right direction.