A conversation between God and Me:
Me: “I feel like a phony, God.”
God: “What do you mean?”
Me: “You ask me to do things, and sometimes, I really don’t want to do them.”
God: “Go on.”
Me: “But since you ask me to do those things, I do them.”
God: “So, what’s the problem?”
Me: “Well, because I don’t ‘want’ to do some of the things you ask me to do. Sometimes, I’m even miserable while doing these things.”
God: “I see.”
Me: “Yeah, and sometimes, people compliment me for doing those things, or even worse, tell me I impacted their life in some way!”
God: “How awful,” He says with a smirk.
Me: “Yeah, it is. Because I feel like a phony.”
God: “Let me ask you a question.”
God: “Do you think I wanted to be murdered? Do you think I liked the idea of dying a horrendously painful and gruesome death?”
Me: Lowering my head, “No.”
God: “Obedience is simply following the desires and wishes of another.” He tips my chin upward and looks into my eyes. “It has nothing to do with whether or not you ‘feel’ like doing it. In fact, the greater the discomfort, the bigger the sacrifice. And as you know, I’m all about sacrificing for the sake of others. Sometimes, the feelings come later, after you’ve made the sacrifice. Other times, they don’t. Sometimes, you discover that you actually enjoy the things I have called you to do. And sometimes, it will cost you something great. Sometimes, you will understand why I have asked you to do certain things. And other times, you won’t find out until you finish this life. All I want is for you to say ‘yes’ to me. ‘Not my will, Father, but Yours.’ Regardless, of whether or not you want to do it, just do it. That’s not phony. That’s obedience.”
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