Select Page

Photo Credit: torbakhopper via Compfight cc

gay marriage-what i wish Christians would say_Heather Rae Hutzel


There are two main reasons I have never publicly shared my opinions about gay marriage:

1) Because I do not want to be known for my stance, opinion, or persuasion on any matter. I want to be known by the way I love and live like Jesus.

2) Because, quite frankly, I don’t really care that gay marriage has been legalized.

I must confess that politics, current events, and the state of our nation are not big areas of interest for me; at least, not anymore than I would take interest in the political state of any foreign country. Here’s why:

I am not a citizen of the United States of America. I am a citizen of the Kingdom of God.

  • As a citizen of the Kingdom of God, I seek not to get entangled in civilian affairs, but rather, I seek to please my Commanding Officer. (2 Timothy 2:4)
  • And the law of my Commanding Officer and Kingdom of origin is this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)

God did not enlist me to point out sins in the lives of others but to point people to Jesus. The only response I, as a follower of Jesus, am allowed to have about anyone is this: they are worth Christ dying for, and therefore, are worthy of my love.

That being said, perhaps 5 years ago, my response would have been very different. God’s challenged much of my thinking over the years, and so in humility and against my natural inclination, I feel compelled to address 4 arguments I have heard since the Supreme Court ruling. I know these are the statements of well-meaning people, but as Christ-followers, I’d like to offer us a different response.


1) “Hate the sin, not the sinner.”

This one I hear a lot, but honestly, what I wish Christians would say is, “Love the sinner.” Period. Amen.

Yes, we can hate sin, but remember that on the cross, Jesus covered all sin. The only thing we need to address about sin in the lives of others is the fact that, if they have not already received it, they are in need of the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. For what sins specifically is not our concern. That’s between Jesus and the person.

I think for many of us, we spend too much time “hating sin” and not enough time “loving people.” The New Testement makes it quite clear, that it is only when we are in covenant relationship with another person, where we have permission to speak into their lives, that we can call out sins in others. And even that is to be done in love. Until that boundary has been established, we are not to address the sins of others but to address their need for grace.

Let them know us by our love (John 13:35) not the way in which we hate sin.


2) “Sin is being legalized!”

To this I would say, “Divorce is a sin, and it is legal. Murder is also a sin, but we allow for the death penalty.”


3) “We are getting away from the principles on which this nation was established! This country began as a Christian nation! One nation under God, and in God we trust! God will lift His hand of protection from us because our nation is endorsing sin!”

Dear Jesus-followers, let us not forget what our Bible tells us: Satan is the god of this age (2 Corinthians 4:4) and the ruler of the kingdom of the air (Ephesians 2:2).

No earthly nation, except the nation of Israel, has ever been under God’s special protection. And now, the only kingdom with God’s special provision is the Kingdom of God. And as Jesus said in John 18:36, “My Kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my Kingdom is from another place.”

We must remember, fellow Christians, while we may live in America and be told that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… While we may be promised freedom of religion and all the “rights” that it assumes… We are NOT citizens of the state in which we live, the nation in which we are born, or the planet which we call “home.” We are citizens of the Kingdom of God. And here are our rights:

  • We have the right to become children of God
  • The right to eternal life
  • And the right to sit upon the throne with our Lord Jesus Christ

And these rights, sweet friends, can NEVER be taken from us! The rights of American citizens are not ours to cling to, the ones of God’s Kingdom are!


4) “The term ‘marriage’ is being redefined.”

Brothers and Sisters, the term “marriage” was redefined a long time ago. The sacred covenant of marriage that was once supposed to represent the beautiful relationship between God and humans was redefined the moment sin entered the world.

  • Marriage was redefined the moment Adam blamed Eve for his folly.
  • Marriage was redefined the moment husbands began treating their wives as property.
  • Marriage was redefined the first time a woman deceived her husband.
  • Marriage was redefined the moment sex, whether heterosexual or homosexual, took place outside of the established covenant.
  • Marriage was redefined the first time a wife had an affair.
  • Marriage was redefined the first time a husband beat his bride.
  • And marriage was redefined the first time a couple who promised each other forever severed the bond that made them one.

The government can define marriage however it wants, but I’ll say this: God is still on HIS throne over HIS Kingdom, and here is how HE defines marriage:

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (1 John 3:16) God defines marriage in saying, “While you were still sinners, I died for you.” (Romans 5:8) God defines marriage by saying, “If Hell is where you are, then that is where I will go. I said, ‘Forever.’ I said, ‘For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, that even death may never keep us apart!’ I said, ‘As long as we both shall live!’ Therefore, I extend to you the gift of eternal life!”


How Christians Can Respond Instead

Now, hear this: I’m not saying we should endorse gay marriage anymore than I am saying we should endorse cheating on your spouse, cheating on your taxes, or cheating on a test. I am also not saying we should ignore the culture in which we live. Rather, what I am saying is this: we live in an era where we have an amazing opportunity to point people to the TRUE definition of marriage. Not between a man and a woman, but between a God and His people, a people who are so unworthy of His love and devotion, yet, despite our unfaithfulness, He loves us. Oh, how He loves us! Now, that is something worth talking about!

New to the site? Find out more here!


Discover the Radical Story Your Life was Made to Tell!



In the next post, we will be diving back into our study of God’s Story!.