Well, hi, friends!
It seems so long since I’ve reached out to you. Normally, my excuse for being gone so long would be, “I’ve been SOO busy! No time for writing when there are so many other things that need to be accomplished!”
But I’ve got a different excuse this time. I’ve been SOO overwhelmed by God!
I’ve actually done plenty of writing over the past few weeks. I’m working on my next book. But I’m in this place of trying to process everything God is saying to me. He’s been quite talkative lately, and I’m not sure what to do with all He is saying. Sometimes, I am able to share it with you, and other times, like now, I just need to listen and process.
The truth is, I tried writing you last week. But nothing good came out. Or so I thought. As it turns out, what I wrote that day, is exactly what I need to share with you. I told you several weeks ago that I am committing to be more open, honest, vulnerable, and intentional in the small role I play in your life. So sometimes that means you get to see the raw, behind-the-scenes moments when I process this journey. After all, my whole goal is for you to have your own crazy, radical journey with God. So here it goes. This is my heart right now:
As I sit down to write, I am overwhelmed by the weightiness of it all–the weight of my calling and the goal that I am trying to achieve.
I, as a flawed and finite human being, am trying to explain to you a holy, infinite, and all powerful God. I am frustrated in my inadequacy. But fortunately, my God is more than adequate. I am frustrated by my lack of vocabulary, not in the sense that you might think. I know I don’t need big, fancy words in order to get my point across. But when God gives me revelation and insight into spiritual things, there is a certain amount of frustration when you realize you are trying to communicate spiritual truths with human words. They just can’t quite convey what’s inside.
This morning, I spent some time allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me through different verses of the Bible. He took me all over the place. And in that moment, I was so overwhelmed by the gravity and importance of the scriptures. They are so richly filled with all kinds of meanings and teachings and stories and symbols. One thing connects to another, which leads to another, which the Spirit will reveal leads to another. I thought my brain would explode. How can I share with others everything the Holy Spirit speaks to me when, clearly, I am having trouble wrapping my own mind around everything. That’s when God reminded me that it is not my job to “figure out” how to get across the message. God has given me the message; He will also give me the words to convey the message when the time is right.
Even now, I am reminded of a passages the Spirit led me to read this morning:
“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”—the things God has prepared for those who love Him—these are the things God has revealed to us by His Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. (1 Corinthians 2:9-14)
Wow. Just wow. I feel like God is saying, “Heather, the Holy Spirit will do all the hard work. Just sit back and be yielded to Me. Not only will I teach you through My Spirit, but I will give you words through My Spirit. And when the time is right, I will also allow the people you teach to understand by My Spirit. Don’t worry. I got this.”
To that I say, “Thanks, God, what a relief!”
I am nothing without Him, and my words are void and meaningless unless He comes to fill them. And so I pray, “Come, Holy Spirit, come. Come and fill my mouth and fingertips with the words You long to speak.”
What challenges are you facing this week? Just trust God. He’s got this.