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Shredded Paper

Confession time.

If you’ve been following my journey, then I must come clean. I have completely abandoned my 30 Day Writing Challenge. I actually jumped ship about a week ago. I probably should have told you sooner, but I was still wrestling with trying to complete the goal.

Now here’s the thing, I love a good challenge. Few things get me more excited than creating a well-organized plan. Strategizing and setting goals for the future makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

So why did I give up?

Well, it appears God enjoys messing with my best laid plans. It seems He gets warm fuzzies from taking my goals, carefully observing them in His oversized, majestic hands, deciding they don’t fit with “His Plan,” and tossing them to the side.

Over the last several months, this has become our little dance. I make a plan, a routine, etc… and God says, “No. Just trust Me. I don’t want you making a plan. I just want you to come to me each and every day and ask what you should do. I’ll take care of making the plans.”

Now for you, a good 30 day challenge might push you outside your comfort zone. It may be just the thing God will use to teach you and transform you. But not me.

I should not have been surprised when God put the kibosh on my beautiful, tidy, very “Type A” writing challenge. I like structure and goals; it’s my comfort zone. But God is teaching me to be okay with uncertainty, confusion, and a lack of structure, even now, as I write this post at 2:40 AM, on my tiny iphone keyboard, while lying in bed. Why? Because apparently, in the middle of the night, (when I’d rather be sleeping) is when God wants me to write. He tells me what to write. He decides the word count. Not me.

Over the last several months, I’ve been learning to say, “God I trust You,” rather than saying, “God I trust You to work things out in a way that makes sense to me.”

God is good. He has good plans. And for that I am thankful. I may not be happy about it (yet), but I’m learning to trust. I’m learning to be okay with uncertainty. I’m learning that His plans are way cooler and way more exciting. When I let God make the plans, I get to see His power.

I hope this Thanksgiving, you too can be thankful when God wrecks your plans and dishes out the unexpected. I promise you, His plans will always be way better than yours.