How do we stay committed to living a life of faith when God feels distant and the uncertainty of the journey becomes maddening?
Few things are more frustrating than living in uncertainty, and unfortunately, in our world, there are not many things about which we can be certain. Lately, I feel like I am in a state of perpetual confusion. Can you relate?
While I am confident that God is asking me to live a life of faith and follow Him, that life of “faith” comes with an inherit amount of ambiguity. After all, faith implies a sense of trusting amidst the unknown.
Remember the Times When God Spoke
It’s in moments when I start to doubt that I have to go back and revisit the times when I heard God speak more clearly. Sadly, we have a way of clinging to the negative and magnifying it rather than focusing on those precious memories with God. That’s why I journal.
I try to write down every dream, every vision, and every moment when I hear God speak or see Him move, because if I don’t, I forget.
Build an Altar
I think forgetfulness is why God asked individuals in the Bible to “build an altar” or “erect a stone.” These monuments were not so much for God as they were for the individuals who were instructed to build them.
These stones and altars became markers of a moment—a moment where time stood still and everything faded away save for the still, small voice of God.
Return and Share
The only problem with building a monument or marking a moment is that they only work if we go back to them from time to time.
I will often (though, not as often as I would like) go back and read my old journals. When I read through memories from the past, I am instantly flooded with the emotions and thoughts I experienced at the time I wrote them.
I am reminded of experiences when I saw God step into my life and do something powerful. I relive the memories of those supernatural moments when I experienced the sweet presence of God, and I am encouraged as I read old prayers, the longings of my heart now answered.
At times, I learn from these moments. Other days, I am restored. And still, during other times, I feel the weighty guilt as I consider recent moments that I have failed to record. But the truth remains; these moments with God are all a part of my story. They are not meant to be hidden in the past, but rather recorded, marked, and relived.
I’d like to relive these memories with you from time to time. To share with you my story not only as it is unfolding but also as it has unfolded.
The Bible says in Revelation 12 that we triumph by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony, our story.
Stories are powerful, and your story has the power to spur others on toward victory. Not only that, but your story is yet to be finished. God is still writing my story, and He is still writing yours. We must never lose sight of living in today, we must hope for tomorrow, and never forget to revisit those marked moments of the past.
Below is a “marked moment” that I’d like to share with you. It was during a time when I felt lost, unsure, and uncertain. Reading these long forgotten words brings me great hope in the present, and my prayer is that it does the same for you.
October 21, 2011
In my deepest, darkest despair
And in my dimmest night,
I can still look to the blackened sky
And see Your shimmering light
Surrounded by the darkness,
I can see it from afar,
A ray of hope, my only light,
The faintest, twinkling star
Light will always pierce the dark,
For night will never reign
And even though I can’t see now,
I know my God remains the same
Leading me with a steady hand,
Guiding me with His grace,
Bringing me toward Him into the light
Where soon I will see His face